“I paint the air between things.” Love this so much. Lately I’ve been leaning into the in-between. After my mom’s death two weeks ago I found it too easy to look for her in signs, and I feel a braver more intuitive urgency to look for her in between the signs, the interstitial places of uncertainty. I love that your art can give shape and color to these spaces.
Oh Kimberly, I am so sorry for your loss. This charged 'space between' or gap where something or someone was but is no more has long been a fascination of mine too. When I lost both my parents within 18 months of each other, it was in this 'space between' that I found the capacity to contain both my grief and my joy. May you find the spaciousness in and around your own grief.
It’s so wild how quick people are to name or fill in that gap. I get it, it would feel safer to do so. To see her in the sky, the birds, the lightning. But something in my heart really needs to enter the void and perhaps even be surprised by the not knowing. Thank you for your kindness. I think I’ll reread your beautiful book this summer. I’m grateful my memoir was published last year while mom was still alive, and that I dedicated it to her, “my ever-rising sun.” ❤️🕊️
I just read Sam’s memoir written after/about the deaths of her parents. It’s as amazing as her painting. You might have too much sharp grief so soon after your mother’s death to read such a book Kimberly, but here’s my review FWIW:
Thank you Baird, I actually read Samantha’s book a year or so ago. I even recall reading it while visiting my mom. Samantha’s perspectives on death and grief are profoundly awakened and refreshing. Thank you for reminding me, I think I’ll pull this one down from my favorites shelf and read again in the coming days.
I wrote a book called Being About that tries to speak from an understanding that everything we so crudely sub-classify as 'feelings', 'thoughts', 'sensations', 'language', etc are inherently-networked bodily structures that can gate behaviours - motion of a paintbrush for instance - without any necessary distinction between those categories.
Fascinating. In meditation I have noticed that when conscious thoughts go quiet you begin to notice all sorts of other movements of the mind, like tiny minnows flitting in the depths, that you would be hard pushed to name as 'thought' or 'feeling' or 'sensation' but seem like a fluid movement between them.
Yes I love the idea of the work knowing before you do. I also think so many creative ideas happen just outside of ourselves, as connections between things and people.. so hard to decipher and pin down!
Without getting too nerdy about the difference between words and language, I would say that “Ideas come before words”. I’ve always liked the notion of words as signifiers and lamp posts, pointing toward something much deeper and more complex.
That red/orange/brassy color in “Noon Sun” strikes me as a new tone for you (or maybe i’ve just missed earlier ones).
Is an 'idea' different from a thought'? I'm using the word 'thought' perhaps a bit loosely here. An unworded thought can, for me, often feel like a sensation of movement, a flicker in the mind, or a kind of pulling, a fascination with something, a 'leaning towards' something that feels like a question, or a resistance, a tightness, a closing down against something. Or a simple delight: 'I like that'. But yes, the words give these nebulous pre-thoughts a more solid form and mean that we can share them.
When struggling through Noam Chomsky, I discovered that language is a deep mental meaning system on which different words/vocabularies are built in different cultures. So an “idea” can be that sensation flicker impulse leaning you mentioned, and if words come with or later, that’s a different thing. I love words, but I recognize that they, like our senses, cannot penetrate to everything that matters.
Wonderful piece, thank you. I happen to read it just as I was finishing writing an article on the Cycle of Experience, from Gestalt theory, which I think has some semblance with the idea of feeling/thinking/knowing before or outside of language.
Hi Samantha, it’s releasing today - in about half an hour. Let me know if you can’t see it on my page - Working Life Story - and I can send you a link.
oooh yes they are. At least in my case. I feel something like an emotion or a sensation in the body, and i usually dont even know why. So i need to understand it. And by using different forms of arts, i connect with it and processing it, decoding the message, hence, the thought behind it. I hope it makes sense.
“I paint the air between things.” Love this so much. Lately I’ve been leaning into the in-between. After my mom’s death two weeks ago I found it too easy to look for her in signs, and I feel a braver more intuitive urgency to look for her in between the signs, the interstitial places of uncertainty. I love that your art can give shape and color to these spaces.
Oh Kimberly, I am so sorry for your loss. This charged 'space between' or gap where something or someone was but is no more has long been a fascination of mine too. When I lost both my parents within 18 months of each other, it was in this 'space between' that I found the capacity to contain both my grief and my joy. May you find the spaciousness in and around your own grief.
It’s so wild how quick people are to name or fill in that gap. I get it, it would feel safer to do so. To see her in the sky, the birds, the lightning. But something in my heart really needs to enter the void and perhaps even be surprised by the not knowing. Thank you for your kindness. I think I’ll reread your beautiful book this summer. I’m grateful my memoir was published last year while mom was still alive, and that I dedicated it to her, “my ever-rising sun.” ❤️🕊️
I just read Sam’s memoir written after/about the deaths of her parents. It’s as amazing as her painting. You might have too much sharp grief so soon after your mother’s death to read such a book Kimberly, but here’s my review FWIW:
https://substack.com/@bairdbrightman/note/c-303657213?r=2ks6k8&utm_medium=ios&utm_source=notes-share-action
Thank you so much, Baird 🙏
Thank you Baird, I actually read Samantha’s book a year or so ago. I even recall reading it while visiting my mom. Samantha’s perspectives on death and grief are profoundly awakened and refreshing. Thank you for reminding me, I think I’ll pull this one down from my favorites shelf and read again in the coming days.
I wrote a book called Being About that tries to speak from an understanding that everything we so crudely sub-classify as 'feelings', 'thoughts', 'sensations', 'language', etc are inherently-networked bodily structures that can gate behaviours - motion of a paintbrush for instance - without any necessary distinction between those categories.
Fascinating. In meditation I have noticed that when conscious thoughts go quiet you begin to notice all sorts of other movements of the mind, like tiny minnows flitting in the depths, that you would be hard pushed to name as 'thought' or 'feeling' or 'sensation' but seem like a fluid movement between them.
yes fluid and physical
Yes I love the idea of the work knowing before you do. I also think so many creative ideas happen just outside of ourselves, as connections between things and people.. so hard to decipher and pin down!
Oh yes, absolutely, Lizzie. It feels like a kind of conversation, rather than a monologue. It's all about connections for me too.
Without getting too nerdy about the difference between words and language, I would say that “Ideas come before words”. I’ve always liked the notion of words as signifiers and lamp posts, pointing toward something much deeper and more complex.
That red/orange/brassy color in “Noon Sun” strikes me as a new tone for you (or maybe i’ve just missed earlier ones).
Is an 'idea' different from a thought'? I'm using the word 'thought' perhaps a bit loosely here. An unworded thought can, for me, often feel like a sensation of movement, a flicker in the mind, or a kind of pulling, a fascination with something, a 'leaning towards' something that feels like a question, or a resistance, a tightness, a closing down against something. Or a simple delight: 'I like that'. But yes, the words give these nebulous pre-thoughts a more solid form and mean that we can share them.
When struggling through Noam Chomsky, I discovered that language is a deep mental meaning system on which different words/vocabularies are built in different cultures. So an “idea” can be that sensation flicker impulse leaning you mentioned, and if words come with or later, that’s a different thing. I love words, but I recognize that they, like our senses, cannot penetrate to everything that matters.
Wonderful piece, thank you. I happen to read it just as I was finishing writing an article on the Cycle of Experience, from Gestalt theory, which I think has some semblance with the idea of feeling/thinking/knowing before or outside of language.
Ooh that sounds interesting, Tim. Is it for Substack? I’d love to read it when it’s ready.
Hi Samantha, it’s releasing today - in about half an hour. Let me know if you can’t see it on my page - Working Life Story - and I can send you a link.
Excellent post!
Thank you John!
Noon sun perfectly capture that sensation of “seeing” the sun through closed eyelids. Just amazing.
Thank you Liza! I might lean into that red a bit more!
actually, feelings come before tthoughts
Are feelings separate from thoughts? My experience is they arrive together, in a tangle.
oooh yes they are. At least in my case. I feel something like an emotion or a sensation in the body, and i usually dont even know why. So i need to understand it. And by using different forms of arts, i connect with it and processing it, decoding the message, hence, the thought behind it. I hope it makes sense.
Just gorgeous!
Such exquisite work. Reading of your excitement and exhilaration of the process is uplifting.
Gorgeous paintings!
Beautiful work. ~A~