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Standing in the kitchen cheering this as I cook dinner late again due to all the many things that must be done which keep me out of my studio. Sometimes it feels it would be so much easier to just give it up, to just do the office job...and that's the point that I know I must get some clay in my hands, or at least a pencil, and *do something*. I started late, you might say, so I really hope to be kicking creative ass in my nineties!!

And, your clouds installation looks exactly as I imagined it when I read "The Clearing".

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Yes, I agree - it's best not to overthink it but just get making/doing/writing again and somehow all that doubting and self-criticism falls away and we are, once again, in that deeply satisfying challenge of 'flow', following wherever it takes us. Hope to see you in the Zoom again soon, and if not, do join us in the subscriber chat between times! https://substack.com/chat/1876873

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Hope I'll be able to zoom soon (too much life-ing going on, will settle down as term goes on, it usually does).

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Such and inspiring and encouraging post. You articulate everything I feel and know about writing. If only it wasn’t all about publication and awards or writing the next best seller, being feted and well known, becoming a celebrity. The true creative life cares nothing for all of that, which is why, as you say, it is the brave life, a life that just keeps returning to the work, to the practice. Hard though it may be. If only commitment and practice were more widely valued. If only everyone read this post!🙏

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Thank you Avril, I'm so glad it hit the spot for you today. Indeed, 99.99999% of creative work is just a steady, quiet, and mostly invisible day-to-day commitment.

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This was a deeply encouraging and affirming read. It chimes with me in every sense. After a very difficult enforced hiatus in my practice, which cut deep into my sense of self, I found confidence has ebbed away when I returned to my work. There have been many occasions an over the years when I have had to will myself on, teeth gritted with determination, but never like this. I re-learnt so much about myself and what was important. The good thing about adversity is it helps focus and re-centre the mind and spirit, providing fuel and courage to keep going. Thank you Samantha, for this most rewarding read which arrived in my in-box at a pertinent moment. In addition, the descriptions of your working process are always interesting and restorative.

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Yes, it's the times we have to really dig deep that we learn what's really important. Knowing that there are others also travelling this slow, creative path makes it a little easier, no?

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Thank you so much Sam, and also Joanna, for sharing your experiences . I had just carved out the space to dive deep into my writing in August when a truck ran into the back of me, pushing me off track in every sense of the word! Not being able to read/write for more than 10 minutes has been so frustrating but, slowly, I have come to realise that not rushing towards the next ‘goal’ has enabled me to dig deeper into what it is that I want to achieve, and it will ultimately be better for it. I’ve also come to terms with the fact that what i produce may not ultimately reach wide audiences, and that’s OK too. I know now that I just want to do the work as well as I can, when I can. And, when I’m struggling with that, i will come back to your post Sam!

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Absolutely - it is this shared experience that helps us to know we are not alone or going mad!

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You are so right about the creative life being one of practice, and sustaining this is the key.

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I watched an interview with the wonderful artist Pat Steir, in her nineties by then, and having big major exhibtions of her (stunning) paintings. She said, only half joking, that for a woman artist to be succcessful you just have to outlive all your male peers. It’s all about staying power…Here’s to still kicking creative ass in our nineties!

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A belated reply to this, because have been thinking about it so much since I first read it.

First, just gratitude for the painting, and the sharing of it. It feels like such a privilege to be able to see the process, and the work itself is stunning in all of these iterations along the way.

On the creativity and work and practice, I keep thinking about this! Am trying to untangle for myself whether there is a difference in this context between "creativity" and "serious work" and "excellence," and if so when and how these comments apply.

For serious work and the pursuit of excellence, absolutely, agreed with what you say.

For "creativity" I only read a couple of the substacks this is responding to (I don't think that mine falls into that category; I've tried hard to not have it be that), but am I wrong in thinking that they aren't usually promoting a shift from what the writers were doing before to serious creative work, or work at the highest levels of excellence, but more a shift into a different life with "creativity" as part of the medium of the shift?

Or I could be wrong there.... but I feel almost as though there is a different world between deciding to make serious art the centre of one's life and deciding to live a more creative life.

(And, in all honesty, I don't know how I myself feel about the pursuit of excellence in this relatively new-to.me field of literary writing as opposed to other kinds of writing. Am I trying for excellence, or not? If so, at what level? It's all still so fragile and new.)

Reminding everyone that seriousness and excellence require the kind of practice that you share so beautifully in these posts seems lovely and wonderful to me. But perhaps the real reminder is that that is a specific kind of creativity, and that one should not confuse various kinds?

I keep thinking of two acquaintances who after retiring took up creative work, one as a writer and one as a painter. Neither one thinks of themselves as a serious artist, I don't think, or even would think of themselves as striving for excellence, but they are both well aware of how much they are giving to their communities through their work. This kind of reminder isn't necessary for them... but then, neither one upended their life to be creative (because their lives didn't need upending, as lives sometimes do), but simply waited until they found space for it.

Hmm, am still thinking! Am so glad that you posted this; it's really interesting and helpful.

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Thanks so much for teasing this out some more, Maria. I was a little hesitant to post this one, as I have nothing but admiration and shared joy for those making that ‘turn’ in their lives. I just felt I needed to think a bit about how my own experience, forty years in, is different. Especially in a career that has been, let’s say, ‘solid’ rather than ‘stellar’, where the momentum to keep going still has to come from no-one else but myself, shoving this ramshackle old cart along each day.

I think part of the problem is that we (myself included) use this word ‘creativity’ in such a loose way that it tries to do too many things. I pondered using the word ‘art’ instead but felt that excluded too much, and yet ‘creative work’ probably includes too much. But I think you’re right, that the difference may lie in the degree of rigour and self-reflection we bring to our practice.

For example, am a very poor yoga practitioner. I’m lazy, haphazard, do it when I feel like it, often in a semi-distracted, inattentive state, and don’t often really notice what is going on in my body and mind enough to learn from it. As a result I make little, if any, discernible progress, even though I’ve been doing it for over 30 years.

By contrast, my dear friend is a diligent yogini, practices daily, studies the yoga sutras of Patanjali and yoga philosophy, goes to India regularly. She has brought her whole, considerable intelligence to bear on the practice, and is now a wonderful source of wisdom for her own students.

So, yes, I think it is something to do with the pursuit of excellence, but not from an external point of view, not purely for recognition (although that’s nice, it helps!) but excellence for its own sake, for the depth of it, for what it draws out of us, for how it makes us grow.

Thank you for getting me thinking again about this!

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Thanks for the reply — I didn't realize how long my comment had become until after I hit “post”! Yes, rigor and self-reflection: that makes so much sense. And of course technical expertise, whether acquired through training or self-taught.

I realized only after I posted that you were responding to correlations people might be making between being an artist and external recognition.

It's such a tough one — I'm really glad you posted the piece, because it's caused me to think so much.

The only way I was able to start writing the substack was to explicitly tell myself that the goal was only to do the best I could do, and to set aside any expectations of excellence, which were hard for me to gauge in any case. Even wrote a small essay just on that.

But at the same time, I believe deeply in the kind of rigor and practice that you are describing; and despite claiming to myself that the writing didn't need to be good, just to exist, I don't know that I could have kept going if a writer I admire hadn't said that the work met a certain standard — ie, provided some external confirmation.

In one's own discipline one often has acquired an innate sense of when one's work is excellent or not, and it's harder in when making that turn into something new. I suppose at the end of the day it matters to connect expectations with reality and what one wants to do — I love the yoga example.

Thanks again, Sam — this whole discussion is really lovely.

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I’m not sure how I stumbled across you but I love both your art and writing! Also, small world, but I also know Garry Mackenzie- he was my ‘academic father’ in university and a good friend. Keep on keeping on! ♥️

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Oh thank you Gillian! I love discovering the web of connections between online and IRL! I was jus chatting to Garry just now wbout his pamphelt launch event this evening at 7pm that I'm 'hosting' Hope you can make it: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/poetry-launch-event-garry-mackenzies-three-ways-of-looking-at-the-forth-tickets-1014402012727

It won't be recorded, but if you can't make it I think we'll do something else soon. Keep on keeping on yourself!

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“There’s a lot of magical thinking around creativity, lots of manifesting, self-helpy whatnottery.” Thank you for saying it like it is! Pull off the veil and show her in all her mess and glory. 💛

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Yes, mess and glory! Kind of describes the state of my studio just now (with the emphasis definitely on the mess!)

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😂

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This was an absolute joy and wonder for me to read today. It's as though fate delivered it into my inbox exactly when I needed it. Thank you, Samantha; you have breathed a little faith into my bones. Best of luck getting the painting finished - I love the greys and muted hues 🩶

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Thats lovely to hear, Caroline. Big cheers for all the steady plodders out here, doing our creative thing without fanfare or stardom, just finding ways to keeping making the work, year after year.

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Thanks again, Samantha! *Plods steadily*

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Agree. Sam's painting is wondrous.

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Thank you Yasmin!

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Really enjoyed reading this with you, Samantha. A great bit of wisdom 🤍

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Thank you Victoria, let’s keep plodding steadily along together!

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